Sometimes, when we’re down on our luck, we let the smallest things get to us. Maybe we should remember that there are people who are homeless and freezing in Detroit. Or that there are hungry children a world away who would give anything to have a bite to eat. Or maybe we should remember that fatal diseases claim the lives of millions every day. Here are some terrible first world problems I have heard.
No. 36 I accidentally clicked Internet Explorer! Now I have to wait.
Sadface. At least you have a computer. At least you have internet. Unless you’re the President, an extra 2 minutes of your time shouldn’t be a problem.
No. 35 I can't find the dude I like on Facebook.
That tragic moment when everyone in the photo is tagged except for the guy that you want to stalk. Even more tragic is the moment when he does have a Facebook and all his photos are blocked. Get over it.
No. 34 I can't get comfortable!
Let me get this straight. You have a nice couch or bed and you can’t get comfortable in it? You don’t have to sleep on the ground or outside and you’re complaining?
No. 33 I can’t find the remote!
This one’s a real shame. You are at home and your remote is nowhere to be found. You can’t use the darn remote in your bedroom because it’s not the same. Now, you need to do the unfathomable: get up and turn on the TV yourself! OMG, life must be hard.
No. 32 I don't want to go to work
Hey, at least you have a job. To put it in perspective, the unemployment rate in the United States is at 7.3%. I’m sure Willie, the bum down by the river, would trade spots with you in a heartbeat.
No. 31 I have all this food in the fridge but can’t decide what to eat.
Just look at the picture. It explains it all.
No. 30 I have too many Uggs and no more space in my closet!
Really? You can maybe donate some Uggs to Goodwill or you can probably buy a new closet to put them in. If you can afford all these Uggs, you can afford a new closet.
No. 29 I have no food.
It’s not that you cannot afford food, it’s that you’re too lazy to go out and get food. Here’s an idea: Go to the grocery store or use your measly fingers to order takeout. We know that crap is delivered all over the US.
No. 28 I just got in the shower, but I have to poop!
Nobody likes to sit on the toilet with a wet butt. It’s not a pleasant experience. It also isn’t something we should complain about. At least you’re not in the car and about to have explosive diarrhea. At least you have a toilet and not a hole in the ground.
No. 27 I just used my last Pandora skip.
Mute it and listen to something else. Or suffer through one song you don’t like. It won’t kill you.
No. 26 I slept in too late on my day off. Now I have less time to do nothing.
Boo hoo. You got too much sleep. Now you have to wake up at 11 a.m and you only have 10 hours to sit on your butt and do nothing.
No. 25 I want to turn the lights off, but my bed is too comfy.
Must be rough having a comfy bed to sleep in.
No. 24 I wanted Chick-Fil-A but it’s Sunday!
Though this seemingly happens a lot, it is not a problem. Drive yourself to another drive-thru and get Chick-Fil-A tomorrow. Everything will be ok!
No. 23 I'm fat!
Unless you have some genetic issue that prevents you from losing weight, you shouldn’t complain about this. Either go to the gym or eat healthier. Or, if you’re happy being a little plump, that's totally cool but just STOP COMPLAINING.
No. 22 I had to put 6 whole dollars in the tip jar before anyone noticed.
You shouldn’t tip for someone to notice. You should tip to be nice. Fools.
No 21. It's not fair!
Life’s not fair. Get over it.
No. 20 My iced mocha frappuccino has too much ice in it!
Really? This is something you’re going to complain about? If you could afford to dish out $5 for an iced latte, why don’t you just go and buy another one?
No 19. My laptop is dying and the charger is all the way upstairs.
I actually see two bright sides to this scenario:
1. When you go upstairs, you may burn a few calories.
2. You actually have a two story house. That’s pretty awesome.
No. 18 My makeup won't come off.
Here’s an idea: Either buy some good makeup remover wipes or stop wearing so much eyeliner and mascara!
No. 17 My seat warmer in my car isn't warming up fast enough.
You have seat warmers! That’s a blessing in and of itself!
No. 16 My smartphone changed my text!
This one must be so rough for people. Your smartphone is trying to make you type in proper English. Oh the horror.
No. 15 That fart was so smelly!
Someone just let one rip. Let’s complain about it! First of all, at least you have a sense of smell. I'll bet your grandma would love to smell a fart again. Second of all, what’s not funny about a fart? It smells, makes noise and comes out of your butt! Farts rock.
No. 14 There's a line at the bar I wanted to go to.
I hear this way too much. There are 30 other bars on the same street. They serve the same drinks. Go there!
No. 13 They were out of regular pop, so I had to get diet!
Either way, pop isn’t good for you. Go rain on someone else’s parade. We don’t care.
No. 12 Ugh, I just got my period.
Be happy, you’re not pregnant. Get some Midol and Hershey bars and shut up.
No. 11 I have too many chips for my dip.
This is not a curse. It’s a blessing. You get to enjoy more tortilla chips or Lays. They’re magically delicious by themselves.
No. 10 I'm too lazy to grab a computer so I'll use my phone, but it's so slow.
No. 9 There’s a re-run on tonight! I have to wait 'till next week?
Your favorite show has a re-run on tonight. How will your life go on? You have to wait another week watching other cable television programs. Your life is tragic.
No. 8 This is the worst day ever!
I hear this all the time. I am pretty sure it would be the worst day ever if you died. That’s really all I can think of that qualifies as the “worst day ever”. And if you’re dead, you won’t be able to mutter these sad, sad words.
No. 7 The paparazzi have been following me all day!
You’re famous. You most likely chose to be famous and knew your life would be lived in the public eye. Buy yourself a new Mercedes and get over it.
No. 6 You don't have sparkling water.
OMG, now you will have to be a normal person and drink tap water! The world is over!
No. 5 The line is too long!
I hear this way too much! Either get out of line and go back at a later time or shut your yapper.
No. 4 I have nothing to wear.
"I have nothing to wear". Says the person with a closet full of clothes. People seem to think that you can only wear an outfit once these days.
No 3. I didn't get the new iPhone. Mine's not the newest anymore!
Apple fanatics are famous for this phrase. Their phone plan doesn't have an upgrade for another year and they can't get this year's iPhone without dishing out $500. I feel so bad that you have to play with your old phone...
No. 2 My phone charger won't reach my bed.
Boo hoo. Now you have to get up and pick up your phone when your alarm goes off. It's not the end of the world.
No. 1 I lost in the video game!
We especially here this from teenage boys and our boyfriends who act like teenagers. It's just a freakin' game!