Things That You Can Get Away With When You're Drunk But Not When You're Sober
The world of drunk is totally different than the world of sober. There are many things that are socially acceptable when you’re wasted. However, if you acted like this when you were sober, people will think you’re a nut job. Am I right?
Change your Facebook status to something nasty but true.
When you’re drunk, you want to share your feelings with the world! “Missy and I are taking big dumps at the bar.” 15 other drunk people immediately like it and think you’re joking. Do this sober and you’re a sick individual. What’s your problem?
Dodging traffic on foot.
Fear is no factor for you. If you dangerously dodge cars and traffic when you’re drunk it seems totally safe and funny, right? Do it when you’re sober and you’re totally nuts!
Doing a crazy stunt
Whether it’s doing "The Worm" or showing off a hidden talent of flexibility, we all get a little showy when we’re drunk. People dig this and we don’t feel like morons. If we try this when we’re sober, then we’re like “totally showing off”.
Taking crazy photos.
The difference between drunk and sober photos is very easy to tell. Take all the weird pictures when you’re drunk, they’re funny as hell. Take them when you’re sober and they’re not so fun and you’re also kinda weird.
Eating massive amounts of fried food
Who doesn’t go out for late night drunk food? Forget the diet when you’re drunk, nobody will judge you at all. If you sit at McDonalds and order the 2 cheeseburger meal and chicken nuggets at 1pm and you’re sober, you’re a fat a**.
Getting a tattoo in a naughty spot.
Getting a tramp stamp is cool when you’re drunk. It will make a funny story to tell friends later on. If you get a butt tattoo or tramp stamp when you’re sober... what’s wrong with you?
Hook up with a dude you just met.
Go home with a guy that you just met at the bar and your other drunk friends are very supportive of this life choice. Tables are turned and you’re all sober, it turns into “Don’t go home with him! It isn't safe!”
Invade personal space.
When you’re wasted, you have no concept of personal space. You sit on people’s laps, spank strangers' butts and dance all up on people. Totally acceptable and men find it hot if you’re drunk. If you do this sober, you’re a slut.
Jump off of things
Why do we feel invincible when we’re drunk? I’m not sure, but it seems like a really good idea to jump off of a park bench or bar stool when we are! We’re superheroes. If we try this and we’re sober we look like total idiots.
Overly exposing yourself in public.
Lifting up your shirt and flashing someone is totally hot if you’re wasted. If you do this sober, you’re actually a big skank.
Painting your face.
Instead of makeup, you put on face paint to go out since you had a few pre-game cocktails. Do this drunk and everyone will get a good laugh. Do this sober and you have serious, serious issues.
Passing out in public.
Finding a nice spot on the corner to pass out on... it’s super comfy. Try this mid-day and you’re labeled “homeless”.
Peeing on the street
On the walk home from the bars and you can’t hold it in any longer, it’s okay to pee on the street. It’s actually highly entertaining. Not something you want to do when you’re sober.
Saying perverted things.
Screaming things that are vulgar and disrespectful. Some I have heard are, “Your mothers a fugly slut” and “I have rocks in my vag***”. Hilarious if you’re drunk, effed up if you’re sober.
“F**k you” and “You’re a piece of sh**” are just a few phrases that I have heard come from the mouths of drunk girls. If girlfriend tries to scream that out when she’s sober, people will look at her like she’s a total bitch. If she’s wasted, it’s okay, she really doesn't mean it.
Sexting a guy you like
The big drunk moment when you get the courage to spill the beans to the love of your life. Tell them everything you have ever thought about them, you’re drunk, it doesn't matter. Confess your sober love for them via text in the afternoon and it’s kinda weird.
Singing a terrible karaoke rendition
The only time most of us have the balls to actually get up and sing karaoke at the top of our lungs. If your voice sucks, who cares? You’re a rockstar that night. Try and do this seriously when you’re sober and it’s a trainwreck.
Spending way too much on a bar tab
Shots for everyone? No problem! Your generous drunk self wants to buy everyone a drink, no matter what the cost! Not a shot in hell your cheap a** would do this when you’re level headed.
Tell your best friend what you really think of her man
Alcohol is also a truth serum. You actually have the balls to tell your friend what you think of the guy she’s dating. He’s a total d-bag, so you tell her. All good when you’re drunk, the next day you can be like, “I was wasted, I had no idea what I was saying.” If you tell her when you're sober, this means war.
Throw objects (perhaps ice cubes) at people
The famous “drunk toss”. Feeling energetic and the need to throw various objects, like ice cubes at people. Perfectly acceptable if you’re drunk, totally unacceptable if you’re sober.
Drooling everywhere, dropping glasses at the bar and falling over people. Sloppy drunks are funny drunks.
Chugging Straight Alcohol
When you’re between drunk and wasted- it’s always a good idea to just chug straight vodka, whiskey or tequila out of a glass. Chug it sober and it’s not as tasty or socially acceptable.
Grinding on a Pole
Who needs a man when you have a pole to grind up and get dirty on? Very regrettable when you wake up the next morning and see your friend posted this video on Facebook for the world to see.
Waking Up At a Stranger's House
Dude… WTF Happened last night? Your drunk self told you it was cool to go to crash a stranger’s party. Not so cool when you wake up in their house the next day.
Take it from Snooki, drunk people like to wander. Go ahead and wander away, people will see that you’re clearly inebriated and they will not pass judgment.