Things We’ll Never Hear A Man Say

1 of 21

Things We'll Never Hear A Man Say

Things We'll Never Hear A Man Say

There are some things that men just aren’t able to admit or say out loud. Here is a short list of things that we will never hear men say. Ladies, you can feel us on this one. Men, take our advice and let your guard down a little!

Can you help me lift this?

Can you help me lift this?

Men: For some reason, you are always showing off the amount of strength you have by carrying heavy things. We won’t think it’s any less sexy if you ask for help carrying a sofa.

Do you think he’s hotter than me?

Do you think he’s hotter than me?

Men: It’s ok to be self conscious and vulnerable. Woman are constantly comparing themselves to other women, we’re all only human!

Her boobs are way too big!

Her boobs are way too big!

Men: There is more to a lady than her breasts.

I baked you some cookies.

I baked you some cookies.

Men: Make an effort to bake your lady a sweet treat. Even if it tastes like crap, we’ll appreciate the effort.

I don’t need to watch football tonight, let’s watch the Real Housewives of Orange County.

I don’t need to watch football tonight, let’s watch the Real Housewives of Orange County.

Men: Let your woman pick what to watch on TV. Be selfless for once and check the score of the football game later.

I need directions.

I need directions.

Men: Nobody will think less of you if you ask for directions. It’s better than watching you drive around aimlessly for hours... now that’s a turn off.

I need to use the men’s room to freshen up.

I need to use the men’s room to freshen up.

Men: There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look your best. If you need to go to the bathroom and brush your teeth or put on more deodorant, don’t be afraid to!

I understand.

I understand.

Men: Skip the argument and just agree with us. Even if youreally don’t... at least pretend you do and let it go.

I wonder what’s on Lifetime tonight.

I wonder what’s on Lifetime tonight.

Men: Women love a good Lifetime movie. Most movies are actually centered around sex, so you should give it a whirl... We bet you’ll enjoy it!

I’d love to meet your parents!

I’d love to meet your parents!

Men: Meeting parents is like ripping off a band-aid. It may be hard to do at first, but your lady (and her parents) will appreciate you making the effort to meet them.

I’ll have a nice, fresh salad. I’m watching my figure.

I’ll have a nice, fresh salad. I’m watching my figure.

Men: Women find it very appealing when you are healthy and fit. Eat a salad with us every once in while. Then we also won’t be jealous of you scarfing down a burger while we chew iceberg lettuce.

I’m going to the store, can I grab you tampons or midol?

I’m going to the store, can I grab you tampons or midol?

Men: If you can go to the store and buy condoms, you can certainly go to the store and buy tampons. They won’t bite you!

It’s my turn to do the dishes.

It’s my turn to do the dishes.

Men: This is another thing that will earn you big brownie points. Offer to do the dishes and you will be rewarded in the long run.

Let’s go see a play. Your choice.

Let’s go see a play. Your choice.

Men: Almost all women love to see musicals. Take your woman to a musical and she’ll do a performance in the bedroom after.

Let’s go somewhere where we really have to get dressed up!

Let’s go somewhere where we really have to get dressed up!

Men: Girls want to get dressed up and have a nice dinner! Ask us to go out on the town every once in a while. We didn’t buy those new heels to have them sit in the closet!

Want to go to the mall?

Want to go to the mall?

Men: Women love to go to the mall, so much that it gets us on a high. If you want to score extra points in the bedroom tonight, takes us shopping first... we promise we’ll be in a good mood after.

We don’t need to have sex, let’s just cuddle.

We don’t need to have sex, let’s just cuddle.

Men: Cuddling is a big turn on. Ask us to cuddle once in a while, most of the time it will lead to sex anyway!

While I’m up, can I get you a drink?

While I’m up, can I get you a drink?

Men: Wait on your lady every now and again. If you’re up anyways, ask if we want an iced tea or a cocktail. We love to be waited on!

You were right.

You were right.

Men: It’s ok to admit that you were wrong. Women love a man who can admit he made a mistake. In fact, admitting you were wrong will score bonus points and put us ladies in a good mood.

Does this outfit make me look fat?

Does this outfit make me look fat?

Men: We are not going to think you sound like a big sally if you ask for our opinion on an outfit. Women love to give their opinion, so ask away!

Facebook54Twitter0Pinterest0Google+0StumbleUpon0Email

Around The Web

  • Lolichan

    It’s funny because my boyfriend says these things =n=

    • Allie Walton

      You got a winner then ;)

  • John Claude di Ronaldi

    Half of these are dumb and half are true. Straight men usually do not like to watch housewife shows, musicals/plays, or go shopping with women. I have no problem with helping around the house tho.

  • troye68

    Again, RantChic, you’ve got entirely too goddamn much Adobe Shockwave applications loading on every page. Even with high-speed internet and connected by an ethernet cable, your hyperactive, 3rd-bowl-of-Fruitloops website is overloading my browser and making the whole operating system freeze.

  • Benjamin Royal Garlinghouse

    I ask for directions, i often tell my girlfriends when they are right (only when they are), i always grab my girl a drink. I choose to cuddle when I’ve been stressed and over worked at my job. Men don’t always want sex, we are just always ready in the event it happens. None of this makes me any less of a man. You are just perpetuating the false image that media is displaying on gender. Women and Men are more alike than we think. and each gender has the same extremes. some Men are sex addicts, and some women are sex addicts. some men are molesters, some women are molesters. some women fear sex, and guess what, some of my friends hate the idea of sex. Now, sex is an easy way to get my point across, but on every aspect of life, men have an identical female. Im tired of shitty stereotypes. Do some research that doesn’t involve TV sitcoms.

  • Mr_Scorpio

    I’m absolutely positive that if you had a gay BFF, you’d hear every single one of those phrases from a guy.

  • ImJustABill

    Good list. I think for me most of these are accurate, except I do help with dishes, I do like plays and I say “you were right” and “I understand”

  • ImJustABill

    Shopping truly is one thing I don’t understand. Whenever I make a purchase my goal is to get what I need as fast as possible and hopefully at a reasonable price. These days that pretty much means buy everything online unless I really need it that day.