Everyday, our feeds on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are flooded with the same old crap. Girls are going crazy taking pictures of EVERYTHING throughout their days, and subjecting their friends to this garbage on all the social media sites. These following 20 pictures are the most commonly posted, and the reason Zuckerberg gave us an 'unfriend' button.
Thank you. I have never seen one before. Unless you live in Alaska or Siberia, leave it off my feed.
Laying Out Legs
Your glistening legs look so hot… oh wait that's only because you did the Lo-Fi filter. Thanks for keeping it to just your kneecaps though because if that was all you were willing to show, we probably didn't want to see the rest.
"LOOK HOW MUCH FUN I'M HAVING AND I'M SO COOL BECAUSE I'M DRINKING ALCOHOL!" I'm going to assume your stupid hashtags underneath are #beerthirty #fiveoclocksomewhere #sexonthebeach.
Basically, what you're admitting to the world with your hundreds of pictures of your cats is that, you're single…. or you're jealous of your friends with children and this is the only way you know how to compete. A couple now in then is fine, but 3 a day? Bet you're watching Ellen too.
Congratulations, you can reproduce. I'm not interested in the cake your child smashed, their first bowel movement, or their first steps, because you know why…. it's not my child. With everything being documented on the internet these days, leave your child off of it. There are enough people looking into our business, don't voluntarily give it to them.
OOTD (Outfit Of The Day)
I just don't know if I would get any sleep if Jessica didn't post her "outfit of the day" everyday! It is comical to make fun of all the fashion mistakes you're making though.
The worst of the worst of the worst. Stop. Stop now. Isn't this what your profile picture is for? I don't need to see you throwing up a peace sign, a smoochy face, or pushing your boobs together (even though you didn't really mean to, it just happened!) You know how you criticize when you see someone else's selfie? Yeah, that's what we're doing to yours.
If it's not a picture, don't post it. You're either trying to prove how happy your relationship is (which means it's probably pretty sh*tty) when we see your text from him that says "I love you baby, you're gorgeous!", or you're trying to show us the hilarious conversation you just had with your bestie. Haha, so funny.
Trying to take a selfie with your pet. What else needs to be said? It always looks like the dog's head is being forced into screen shot. Animal cruelty. Human cruelty. Don't subject us to this garbage. "My dog and I are so happy", as are you and your vibrator since you are probably single.
Ohhhh, so when you checked in at LaGuardia an hour ago, I thought that meant you were running to Chicago. Thank god the plane wings cleared that confusion right up.
What are these giant cotton balls? Am I dreaming? Oh wait, it's those things I see every day of my life. They may never appear again, thanks for documenting it. Oh, and that double rainbow too.
Where to begin? I'm so cute holding up my Hello Kitty iPhone case and looking at the phone instead of into the mirror because I'm actually embarrassed I'm doing this in the first place. More often than not, the subject in the picture is looking at themselves on the phone. What the f**k?
Fresh manicure! Don't my Minions from Despicable Me look ravishing in nail lacquer? I'm also 30 years old, maybe not mentally though.
Feet in the Sand
What a pensive shot. The water is withdrawing around my feet and I'm sinking in the sand. Is this supposed to make me jealous?
Unless it says "You are an attention whore", I'm not interested in your cracked cookie.
Someone spent an intricate amount of time making this design, which is going to be ruined in 5 seconds. Thanks for capturing it. The barista is laughing at you by the way while you're holding your camera up to the mug.
Celebrate! Celebrate your complete lack for creativity and skills in photography.
Please believe how happy we are! Is that a promise ring? That's probably all it'll ever be.
Eyeball Close Up
Why? To see your sh*tty attempt at doing your eye shadow and eyeliner? What a turn on for a guy, seeing this girl he knows having a striking resemblance to that creepy dead girl from the Grudge.
Driving in the Car
Let's start a new campaign to join "It can wait", and we'll call it "It should never happen". It's terrifying to know girls are taking these pictures while they're driving. I'd prefer a text message then you fumbling trying to make sure you hit the camera button.
The Gym Selfie
Okay, she's got a sick body. But still, selfies of you at the gym are weird. You want us to see that you're working out, like it's attractive to everyone. We don't care about your work out pics, we already knew from your check in at LA Fitness.
It's always joked about how white girls love their Starbucks, and they have unhealthy obsessions with it. We really don't care if you're drinking it. My day will go on just fine without seeing your Venti Mocha Frapp.
Again, not another photograph. Great, you're listening to Michael Jackson on Pandora. Why do you think we care?
The Body/No Head Shot
If we're friends with you, or following you... we know who you are. Why are you blocking your head? Are you embarrassed? Other variations of this picture are taken from above with no head even in the picture. It makes no sense.
Quotes are all over Instagram and Facebook. They aren't pictures. Have you ever noticed someone who posted a quote that couldn't be more the opposite of that particular human being? You know, the girl who was spreading malicious gossip to you, and then posted "do unto others as you would have them do to you!" So... you want people spreading gossip about you? Got it.